The Most Human Person
by HipsterMidgardian
Summary: A Sherlock One-Shot. Through letters, diary entries, and even a few tweets, we take a look into the life of the world's only Consulting Detective through the eyes of the people closest to him


_Entry from the childhood journal of Mycroft Holmes_

Brother is being absolutely ridiculous- well, more ridiculous than usual, I should say. His tantrums are becoming tiresome. Mummy just doesn't want to listen to reason when it comes to raising that boy. "Let him be creative," she says. "If he wants to dress up as a pirate, why shouldn't he?"

He shouldn't dress up like a pirate because doing so will fool him into believing he really is a pirate. Sherlock is already mentally handicapped and emotionally volatile as it is- Encouraging him will only perpetuate the problem. Honestly, it's as if I am the only one in this bloody household who cares about his welfare at all…

_Excerpts taken from letters addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Holmes from Oxford University_

•Parents, I am writing this so that you will not pester me with letters and phone calls while I am heavily involved in my studies. I realize you miss your favorite son terribly, but please control your respective urges. I am fine.

Everyone else here is dull, but that was to be expected ( though I am appalled at the level of ignorance pertaining to basic logic many of my fellow students seem to spread amongst themselves like a virus). I find that as long as I keep my observations to myself, difficult as that is, they will not bother me with their poor mental capacity.

The most difficult aspect of university life yet doesn't even lie with my studies. It resides with the pointless regulations concerning the lawns. If a student must cut through a patch of grass or two in order to traverse the fastest possible route to class, why should that be prohibited?…

… Yours,

SH

•Dear Mr. and Mrs. Holmes,

…we regret to inform you of your child's termination from our university. We simply do not tolerate the behavior your son has exhibited during his stay here…

… which include theft of property from the chemistry labs, refusal to attend classes, insubordination, refusal to refrain from walking in restricted areas…

… various drug paraphernalia found in his living quarters, which directly violates code 13.7…

… We have informed Sherlock of his situation, and have notified him of his expulsion…

•Parents,

It was a matter of time.

SH

_Excerpt of an email sent to Scotland Yard_

…It has come to my attention that your organization is severely lacking in actual prowess in criminology, chemistry, anatomy, biology, or reasoning skills. I would call this an outrage if it had surprised me, but seeing as it did not, I will simply call it a disappointment.

I would like to offer my services as a consulting detective to your organization in order to remedy your obvious handicaps in these areas. Please understand- this email should not be considered a letter of application. I have no interest in working for you. I simply wish to act, as stated before, as a consulting detective. Attached are various newspaper clippings of recent crimes committed in the immediate area along with a short summary of my findings and conclusions regarding these cases. Should help you shorten the "ones that got away" list.

I'll be expecting correspondence shortly.

-SH

PS I would also like to request that any possible grounds for prosecution be waived pertaining to methods used to solve said cases.

_Entry from the blog of John Watson (later deleted)_

So I don't have a limp anymore.

You read that right. It's gone. Poof. Vanished.

According to my new flatmate, it wasn't psychosomatic in the way I thought. How did he word it? "You aren't haunted by the war; you miss it."

This is a load of rubbish, of course. Who would actually miss being in the middle of combat? Explosions going off all around you, bullets whizzing past your head, dust clogging up your lungs; it was hell. My theory is that I've just been able to get my mind off of all that by helping Sherlock (the flatmate I mentioned) solve crimes.

You read that right too. I'm a detective now.

I'll have to cut this one short- Sherlock keeps looking over my shoulder and asking me what I'm typing. Nosy doesn't even begin to describe him.

_Entry from the diary of Molly Hooper_

What he's asking me to do is madness. I've been working around corpses for ages now, but never have I had to make one. I mean, it's one thing to examine a body and determine cause-of-death, but entirely another thing to fake all of those symptoms; no pulse, no breath, glazed eyes. The pulse part will be the hardest for him- after a fall like that, his heart will be in overdrive with adrenaline. Whenever I pester him about it, he just says he has it all thought out and tells me not to worry.

How can he expect me not to worry? There are so many things that could go wrong with all this, and that's only with my part. I can't write down anything about it, nothing at all- I can't take that risk.

Please, God, let him live.

_Various tweets found under the username P_Andy_

•Six months and it still feels like yesterday #RIPSherlock

•Got myself a cat today. Named it Bill. #CatPerson

•Fired today. Probably for the best. Work wasn't the same… #FeelingBlue

•I'm not giving up on him #BelieveInSherlock

•Members wanted! Do you #BelieveInSherlock? Sign up here! register

•New developments on the "twin" theory. Will keep all of you posted. #BelieveInSherlock

• SIGHTING ALERT: Photo taken APR 10, 2013, BUDAPEST #SHSighting #BelieveInSherlock

•We cannot let the drop in membership discourage us. Our numbers may be small, but stay strong. #BelieveInSherlock

•Don't forget! Meeting today! #BelieveInSherlock

•#SHERLOCKLIVES

_Entry from the blog of Molly Hooper_

What a lovely reception! Sherlock really does have quite an exquisite taste in decorating; I doubt even he knew that. His best man speech was a train-wreck, but he managed to end on a good note. He always does, the bugger.

Tom and I had a great time- well, up until the bit where we found out there was a serial killer at the wedding. Can you imagine? It seems those two just can't get away from their work.

I hate to make light of it. The whole thing really was quite scary. To be honest, it was also so, so thrilling! That is until Tom decided to stand up and open his mouth. A meat dagger? Really?

Despite all this, the reception was still nice. Mary was stunning in her dress (God how I wish I could pull something like that off), and John couldn't stop beaming whenever he looked at her.

After everything died down, the party really got going. Tom isn't really much of a dancer, but I had fun anyway. I couldn't help but notice Sherlock slipping out early though.

It just occurred to me; he went home to an empty house that night. Hopefully Mrs. Hudson didn't take too long getting back herself, so he wouldn't be lonely.

After the party, Tom and I decided to stay up late to watch rom-coms…

_Letter addressed to John Watson from Sherlock Holmes (undelivered)_

John,

How are you and Mary?

I miss you. Terribly.

Come back, John. Please.

-SH

_Article found in the London Times_

THE END OF A LEGEND

Famed "consulting detective" Sherlock Holmes passed away in his sleep Monday. Said friend and former Detective Inspector Greg Lestraude, "Frankly I'm surprised he lasted until his fifties, let alone eighties. I mean, we all assumed we would be the ones burying him and not the other way around, just, we thought it would happen differently, you know? Not all normal like this."

Former flatmate (and rumored lover) of Sherlock, Dr. John Watson, was not available for comment.

Sherlock Holmes will be remembered for his determination and ingenuousness in solving countless cases for Scotland Yard and private clients. "He's helped a lot of people," said Lestraude. "Saved some lives too, and not in ways you would think."

A service will be held at Newport Cemetery on Friday at 2:00 PM. It will be open to the public.

_Excerpt of an entry from the blog of John Watson_

… It's hard to believe someone as larger- than-life as him is just gone. Like Greg said in the article, none of us expected him to go out this way.

Don't get me wrong- it's comforting to know he went out peacefully in a bed rather than by getting shot in some crime boss' den or something like that. Still.

I regret to say this will be my last entry in this blog. According to a reliable source (yeah, Mary) I am told being a professional blogger is rather outdated. I'll keep the site up though, as a tribute to him. It's the least I can do…

_Inscription found on a headstone in Newport Cemetery_

William Sherlock Scott Holmes

"A great man,

A good man,

The most human person we have known."


End file.
